It wasn’t a New Year’s resolution… I just decided that when my carton was finished I would quit smoking. And I’m surprised at how it’s going.
Keep in mind I’ve been a heavy smoker for almost 10 years now. I’ve smoked a pack of 20’s a day for at least the last 8 years (Sometimes 2 packs when you go out and party!). And I went cold turkey 3 days ago…
I decided to take the tough/no assistance route for no other reason than I don’t want to now get addicted to a patch or chewing gum. It hasn’t been all that bad. I have had a strange case of “lock-jaw” though. Well, that’s what it feels like anyway. I’m so stressed out I can’t help clenching my jaw. By the late afternoon I start getting terribly hungry – frantically trying to eat everything in my sight. But I’m trying desperately to avoid that (I already did enough damage over Christmas thanks!)
So, without any assistance and going on pure willpower I’ve learnt exactly what smoking does to you – It makes you MAD! Fortunately most of this time since I have quit I’ve been OK, but I’ve also learnt how to negotiate very well too (Doesn’t matter if its with myself anyway – Cause at this stage you are delirious!) I plotted how I was going to buy just 1 loose smoke from a garage shop and sneak it home to enjoy later… I don’t know who I was hiding it from, but it felt necessary nonetheless.
I almost felt like a druggie who had just quit a cocaine habit by locking themselves in their room. Then I realized that it wasn’t that bad, I haven’t really had such a bad time anyway. I can really do this easily. Its just that 1 irrational thought that can bring you down….
Fortunately the irrational thoughts have died down to only 1 an hour now… By next week I might even stop talking to myself!
I’m hoping things will get better over the next few days.
Until then…
Tags: mad, quit, smoking.
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